Daily Devotional for Saturday June 1, 2013
Is the Foundation of Your Relationship Spiritual or Sexual
(Matthew 7:24, 1 Corinthians 3:11, Ephesians 2:20)
After many years in the ministry, having counseled with hundreds of couples, I can tell you that the number one problem between a husband and wife is the foundation upon which they built their relationship. In 95% of the cases, they didn't hesitate to get involved sexually, almost always prior to marriage, but rarely, if ever, prayed together! It is amazing to me that two people have no problem jumping into the most intimate acts there are with another person, yet are reluctant to pray together. If you never hear another word I ever tell you, hear this word today.
IF YOU BUILD A RELATIONSHIP ON A FOUNDATION OF ANYTHING BUT JESUS CHRIST, IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THE STORMS OF LIFE DESTROY THAT RELATIONSHIP.
I get thousands and thousands of emails each day from people ages 13 through 70, that are dealing with problems in their relationship with a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife. Let me tell you a couple of things up front. First, having sexual relations outside of the bonds of marriage is a sin. Period. This is not debatable. There are no exceptions. It is sin. Second, one reason God warns us NOT to be unequally yoked, not to be married with a nonbeliever is simply because you can never build a spiritual base with someone who does not share your faith.
On this subject, let me share with you that the warnings in the Bible like this one, are God's stop signs. Ignoring this and the other warnings are no different than driving right through a stop sign. Yes, you may do it once, twice, and nothing happens. By God's grace there were no cars coming. But trust me, keep running God's stop signs and you will eventually have a major spiritual wreck. That is a guarantee. So think about that when you decide to listen to, or ignore what God says in His Word. Third, If you do not build a spiritual foundation to your relationship first, you have ZERO chance at making it through the storms of life that WILL come.
I want to address those who are not married but dating. I am very much against young adults dating until after high school. I realize that may sound very old fashioned, but trust me, I have seen the destruction to young lives who get caught up in the world of romance in their teen years.
I DEAL EACH WEEK WITH OVER 10,000 YOUNG ADULTS WHO HAVE MADE INCREDIBLE MISTAKES, MANY LIFE-CHANGING, BY GETTING INVOLVED IN DATING TOO EARLY. I KNOW THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS, BUT THE FACT IS, WHEN YOU ARE DATING IT IS TAKING YOUR ATTENTION OFF OF OTHER AREAS OF YOUR LIFE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON. SCHOOL, YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS, YOUR WALK WITH GOD...SOMETHING SUFFERS. YOU WILL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME AFTER HIGH SCHOOL TO START THIS ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE, AND HAVE A MUCH STRONGER FOUNDATION TO WORK FROM.
The reason it doesn't work is the topic of today's Devotional. You build your relationship on looks, on popularity, on peer pressure, on sex, on a thousand of things OTHER than God. You have to understand, your Christian faith is part of every aspect of your life. You can't separate it from any aspect of your life. At least after High School you are more mature and better equipped emotionally to handle dating.
But even young adults in their 20's and 30's, those in their 40's 50's, 60's and 70's make the exact same mistake. They build their relationships on sex in most cases, as well as many other things instead of the Lord. The result is out-of-wedlock children, heartache, sorrow, bitterness, loneliness, insecurity, financial problems, and countless other issues that dominate and practically destroy their lives. The fact is, if you do it GOD'S WAY...it works. If you ignore GOD'S WAY...it never works.
I love you and care about you so much. Let me give you some advice. For those who are married, it is never too late to go back and rebuild the foundation of your relationship on the Lord Jesus Christ. It requires praying together, reading the Word together, finding ways to serve God together, and making your faith that you share the center of your lives; it is first above all else. For those who are not married. If you cannot build a spiritual relationship with the person you are with, I promise you that you are NOT in God's will in that situation. If you cannot make the Lord the center of your lives together, and share that together, you need to do some serious praying about who it is God wants you to be with.
A special note to those young adults still in junior or senior high school. You have so much going on in your life, and your are starting to develop physically and emotionally. You are not using good sense when you get involved in dating. It literally takes over your life and you lose all focus on everything else. Pray seriously about if that is what is best for you at this time. However, if you do feel led to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, having a spiritual foundation as the center of your relationship is a must.
I will be praying for you today. I know these have been difficult words for many of you to hear. If you are married, you have made that commitment and God wants you to honor your vows. If you have a spouse who is not receptive to having a spiritual foundation, pray for them. Only God can change their heart, but He is able!!! If you are not married, please, heed this warning. Don't get into a situation that you will regret later by ignoring what I have shared with you today.
Again, young adults, think and pray. God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life. Only you can mess that up. The Bible is our instruction manual. Life is complicated. It has many parts to it. If we follow the manual, life works so beautiful. If we ignore the manual and try to build life our way, trust me, we will fall short of what God intended and never know the full joy, peace, abundance, and blessings that there is to enjoy during this wonderful journey we call life.
Take a few minutes right now to pray, and ask God what foundation your relationship is built on. It is NO ACCIDENT you are reading this today. As a matter of fact, this message needs to get to everyone you know. Send it to your family members and friends. Get it to those you know at work and school. Post it at your church. I will be praying that all who read these words will work to build their relationships on the Rock, the Lord Jesus Christ!
In His love and service, Your friend and brother in Christ,