Daily Devotional for Monday November 13, 2006

Britney Spears, a Tragic Example of our Culture of Divorce

(Malachi 2:16; Matthew 19:8)

I remember growing up in the '60s, hearing about Elizabeth Taylor being married 5 times and the stigma that was attached to divorce. During my elementary school days, only one kid in my class was from a divorced home. Did people get divorced back then? Of course. However, divorce carried shame and signified failure, it was a big deal! Marriage was still honored and revered and understood to be God's Holy Institution. Fast forward just 40 years and now you have people trying to redefine marriage to include a man and another man or a woman and another woman. God's Holy Institution has been reduced to little more than a legal date and we currently live in a culture of divorce.

Britney Spears is a classic and tragic example of this culture of divorce. She made a mockery of God's Institution several years ago when she got married to her childhood friend, only to divorce him 55 hours later. Yes, you heard me, FIFTY FIVE HOURS! After that "marriage," she began living with Kevin Federline, a man who had already fathered two children out of wedlock and left that live-in relationship to move in with Spears. After getting pregnant, Spears and Federline got married and last week, after two-years and a second child, Spears decided to end the marriage by text messaging Federline that she was getting a divorce. What a great way to use our 21st century technology!

I wish that it was just Britney and other famous celebrities that lived their lives in such a reckless and destructive way, but sadly, I deal with people every day here at Liveprayer who aren't famous, yet conduct their personal relationships in complete and utter rebellion to God and His Word. Even sadder, many of those people are in the church! Even though it shouldn't be, this culture of divorce we live in today is as prevalent in the church as it is out of the church. So today, I want to talk about divorce and the fact that it never was, nor is today, part of God's plan for marriage.

The most important thing to understand about divorce is that it was never, is not now, nor ever will be part of God's plan for marriage. God clearly expresses His feelings on divorce in Malachi 2:16 by simply stating that "He hates divorce." Divorce is a sin, period. The biggest misconception about divorce comes from the poor teaching that there are Biblical reasons for divorce. This is mainly due to a misunderstanding of the passages in Matthew Chapters 5 and 19 where it appears like adultery is a legitimate reason to get divorced.

Let me say this as clear and concise as I can. There are NO, ZERO, NADA reasons for divorce. Marriage is a LIFETIME commitment. I have performed dozens of weddings over my years in the ministry and have never yet said, "Till death do us part . . . unless." There are no "unlesses" in the marriage vows you make to your spouse and to God. The exception for adultery is NOT from God, it is an exception from man. It comes from the Jewish laws of marriage and divorcement and is a MAN-MADE reason for divorce.

GOD MADE NO PROVISIONS FOR DIVORCE! WHEN JESUS TALKS OF DIVORCE IN MATTHEW 19, HE STARTS OUT BY SAYING, "In the beginning it was not so." That is referring to the FACT God made NO PROVISION for divorce. Jesus goes on to say, "but Moses, for the hardness of your hearts." That is the reference to the Mosaic laws for divorcement and remarriage. Hear me carefully. God made NO PROVISION FOR DIVORCE. All "reasons" for divorce are man-made. Once man started to create reasons for people to get divorced, he than had to create another whole series of rules for remarriage. NONE OF THAT CAME FROM GOD SINCE GOD NEVER INTENDED FOR PEOPLE TO GET DIVORCED!

One of the sad issues many men and women face in marriage is abuse. Physical, verbal, emotional, mental, and sexual are all forms of abuse. Let me be clear on this. God DOES NOT expect a person to stay in a living environment where they are being abused in any way. That is never His plan for people to live their lives under those conditions. I counsel people daily in abusive situations to leave the home and separate. Note that I said separate, NOT divorce. Also, I do not recommend that anyone who has had to separate due to abuse of any kind, goes back until their spouse has received professional help and is living a committed life for Christ. Unless Jesus transforms their life, they will never change.

I have made it so clear in past Devotionals how serious the decision to get married is. It is for LIFE. The vow is "for better or for worse." You are making a lifetime commitment to this other person and to God. That is why I encourage you to take it slow when you are in a relationship that may lead to marriage. Don't rush into anything. First of all, don't ignore God's warning in 2 Corinthians 6:14 by getting involved with a non Christian. Take the time to build a spiritual foundation to your relationship. Get to know the other person over TIME. So many of the problems I see each day in marriages could have been avoided if people would have only been patient and taken the time to get to know their spouse BEFORE they got married.

I am well aware that this does not insure you will have a perfect marriage. People make choices every day. Sadly, even people who know the Lord make the choice each day to live in rebellion to God. You are NOT responsible for the choices your spouse makes if at some point in your marriage they choose to rebel against God. However, you can be much more assured of who your spouse is if you are patient and build a spiritual foundation to your relationship prior to getting married.

The other issue I want to address is getting married again after you have been divorced. Please understand that if you are divorced, you are single and free to marry anyone else who is single. Again, the passage that talks about a person committing adultery if you get remarried after a divorce is tied into the Jewish laws of marriage and divorcement. The fact is, if you are divorced you have sinned against God since in a divorce BOTH parties have to bear the responsibility regardless of the circumstances. The key is to repent, ask God to forgive you, and stand on His promise in 1 John 1:9 that you ARE forgiven. You are then free to remarry. God is a God of the second chance!

The biggest mistake I see people making every day is getting divorced and before the ink is even dry on the divorce papers, even before in many cases, involved in another relationship. Please listen to me carefully. A divorce is no different than if someone takes a butcher knife and cuts a 12" gash into your chest. It is a SERIOUS wound that needs time, often lots of time, to heal. Getting involved in another relationship is the most foolish thing anyone who has just gone through the pain of a divorce can do. You are NOT ready for it emotionally or spiritually! Please, take time to heal and spend time with the Lord before you even consider getting involved in another relationship.

I love you and care about you so much. My heart breaks today knowing how many people are living each day in a difficult marriage. I will be praying for you. If you are having problems in your marriage, please know that God is your hope and strength. He is still a God that changes lives and can bring healing and restoration to your marriage. I will be praying today for those marriages that are in trouble, believing God to make your marriage whole. Every day we pray for marriages to be healed and restored here at Liveprayer, and I have thousands of praise reports of God doing just that. What God has done for someone else, God will do for you!!!

Also, please take a moment today and pray for Britney Spears and her husband as they go through the pain of divorce. Pray that through this painful real-life experience they are going through, they will both turn their hearts and lives to the Lord and find His love.

For those who have been through the pain of divorce, I will be praying for you as well. I went through a divorce early in my life when I was away from the Lord so I understand what that pain is. God loves you very much and if you will simply ask His forgiveness, He will forgive you for the sin of divorce. God still has much for you to do with the rest of your life as well as many blessings for you to enjoy. I will pray today that in His perfect timing, He will bring into your life a Godly man or woman to share the rest of your journey with in His Holy Institution of Marriage.