Daily Devotional for Monday June 12, 2006
Would you be Concerned if your Husband or Wife Read your Emails or Instant Messages
(Hebrews 13:4; Matthew 5:28; Ephesians 5:22, 25)
What about listened to your phone calls? What about if they knew every place you go each day? How about the places you go when you are out of town? Would you worry if your husband or wife heard a tape of all the conversations you had each day with people of the opposite sex? For those who are still reading, you either have no problem being this open with your spouse or you are now under great conviction and God is speaking to you today.
For those who have no problem being this open with your spouse, praise God! A marriage centered in Christ should include this type of openness and transparency. With Christ at the head of your life and loving and honoring your spouse as the Word calls for, there is no reason you should be afraid to allow your spouse to read your emails or Instant Messages, listen to your phone calls, know exactly where you are at, or hear any of your conversations with people of the opposite sex. I pray that you will continue to love and honor your spouse so that you can always be this open and transparent.
For those who are under conviction by these words today, this could be the very tap on the shoulder from God that will keep your marriage from ending in divorce. Satan is very subtle in how he destroys marriages. No marriage ends in divorce overnight, but over time. One of the chief ways people open the door for satan to come in and destroy their marriage is in their relationships with people of the opposite sex. If your heart began racing as you read those questions, if you know deep down you would never want your spouse to read your emails or Instant Messages, hear your phone calls, know exactly where you are at all times, or hear a tape of the conversations you have with people of the opposite sex, please hear what God is saying to you today. It may very well save your marriage!
Nobody wakes up one morning and decides to become an alcoholic. They have a few drinks, it becomes part of their life, and over time they get into bondage to alcohol. Nobody wakes up one morning and decides to become a drug addict. They experiment with drugs occasionally, begin to use them more frequently, and over time they get into bondage to drugs. It is the same thing with someone who is in bondage to food, shopping, gambling, making money, sex, or any other type of bondage you can name. A person doesn't get into bondage to anything overnight, but over time.
This is also how relationships outside of your marriage develop, over time. You get friendly with someone of the opposite sex at work, you see them every day, you make sure you spend some time with them every day, talk to them every day, you start to develop that elementary school crush and fantasize about them, pretty soon you create opportunities to have lunch with them or see them after work, and during this process the conversation turns from work to your personal lives and often to sex. One thing leads to another and one day you and your co-worker are in bed together.
Even if this relationship never culminates in having sex together, never forget that Jesus said if you lust in your heart you have committed adultery. You are giving someone else the emotions, feelings, and attention that should ONLY be given to your spouse. When you got married, that is the person God gave you for the rest of your life to pour all of your emotions, feelings, love and attention into. NOBODY ELSE! That is the person who God gave you to enjoy sex with. NOBODY ELSE!
Over the past decade, another road to destroy marriages satan has turned into a 12-lane super freeway is the Internet. I have warned you over the years about Internet dating services, the danger of chatrooms, and the other ways you can meet people over the Internet. Every time I see one of those commercials with the elderly gentleman for a popular Internet matchmaking site I cringe. They make millions selling people the "dream of a soulmate," but never tell you the horror stories of all of the marriages that have been destroyed because of their service. I am very aware that people can and do use these services successfully. I am also very aware of how dangerous these sites are from dealing DAILY with men and women who have learned to use Internet dating sites and chatrooms to carry on secret lives their spouses never knew existed.
Satan has lied to people that there is really nothing wrong with carrying on a relationship with someone "online." The reality is, you begin to pour your heart, emotions, and feelings into this person you are having the online relationship with just like if you were with them in real time. Ultimately, in most cases it actually does evolve into meeting in real time and ends up being no different than any other extra-marital affair. It all started so harmlessly. A few innocent emails and Instant Messages that became more frequent, more personal, more sexual in nature. The next thing you know you are actually sitting side by side with this person.
Again, even if this relationship never culminates in having sex together, never forget that Jesus said if you lust in your heart you have committed adultery. You are giving someone else the emotions, feelings, and attention that should ONLY be given to your spouse. When you got married, that is the person God gave you for the rest of your life to pour all of your emotions, feelings, love and attention into. NOBODY ELSE! That is the person who God gave you to enjoy sex with. NOBODY ELSE!
I love you and care about you so much. Today's message is a warning that you must guard yourself from opening the door to satan, allowing him to enter into your marriage and destroy it through your relationships with people of the opposite sex. If you are married, you simply cannot allow yourself to get too close to someone who is not your spouse. You have got to be aware this is an avenue the enemy will use to try and destroy your marriage. The way you judge if you are getting too close to someone of the opposite sex is by answering the original questions I posed. If the answer to any of them is "yes," you need to back off because you are too close to that person.
I will be praying for those of you today who God brought under conviction because you know that you would NOT want your spouse to read your emails or Instant Messages, hear your phone calls, know all the places you go, or hear the conversations you are having with people of the opposite sex. Be like Joseph and RUN from this relationship NOW before it destroys your marriage. God is speaking to you today and God is trying to help you save your marriage. I will be praying for you to listen to Him and cut off ALL communication with this other person.
I already know many of you will email me and tell me that your spouse doesn't understand you, that you have "grown apart," and a whole plethora of reasons to try and justify your involvement with someone who is not your spouse. SAVE IT! Let me encourage you that if you put the same time, effort, emotions, feelings, and energy into your spouse as you do this other person, you would be amazed at how different your relationship with your spouse would be. Whatever the problems in your marriage may be, being involved with someone else is NOT the answer. I will pray today for God to bring healing and restoration to your marriage. The first step, however, is to cut off all communication with this other person you are involved with.
I will also be praying today for those of you who are dealing with a spouse who has become involved with someone else. Never forget, you are not responsible for the actions of your spouse. God gave us each free will and only He can change your spouse's heart. Now is the time to make your faith real and learn to trust God during this difficult time. Find your peace and strength in Him each day and know that He is still in the restoration business! I will be praying for you and for your spouse to turn their heart and life back to the Lord and bring healing to your marriage.
Would you be concerned if your husband or wife read your emails or Instant Messages? What about listened to your phone calls? What about if they knew every place you go each day? How about the places you go when you are out of town? Would you worry if your husband or wife heard a tape of all the conversations you had each day with people of the opposite sex? If the answer to any of these questions is "yes," God is speaking to you today. Please, listen since your marriage is at stake.