Daily Devotional for Sunday August 14, 2005
The Myth of the ?Midlife Crisis?
(Ephesians 5:25; 1 Peter 3:7)
I know today?s Devotional is going to sound like I am singling out the men only, and I am. Don?t worry, I am well aware that what I am going to share with you today also applies to women. I will deal with the women on this issue on another day, but today I want to focus solely on men. I wish I had a penny for every email I received where a man has left his marriage because he was experiencing a ?midlife crisis.? Let me be blunt, there is no such thing as a ?midlife crisis.? It is simply an excuse for sin!
Emails pour in daily from women whose husbands have left their marriage, left their children because they needed ?time alone.? Some other great excuses are, ?I have fallen out of love with you,? ?I need to find myself,? ?I still love you but not the same way,? ?I care about you but I need to be by myself,? ?it is not your fault, you did nothing wrong, I just need to do this,? ?I need time to work things out by myself,? ?I?m tired of not having what I want,? ?I have to have time to figure things out,? and on and on and on the endless list of excuses go.
Listen, let?s cut to the bottom line. These are all simply excuses for a man who doesn?t want to be married any longer. I can tell you in 95% of the cases there is another woman involved, either directly or indirectly. What I mean is that the man is already involved with another woman or in some cases, having thoughts and desires to be involved with another woman. He has bought into the lie of satan that he can find real happiness and real joy in his life by leaving his present wife to be with another woman.
Men, let me try and do my best to give you a wake up call today. YOU ARE A FOOL TO LISTEN TO SATAN AND BELIEVE THAT BY LEAVING YOUR WIFE AND FAMILY YOU WILL FIND ANY PEACE AND HAPPINESS! What you will find is pain, heartache, guilt, and sleepless nights. You will distance yourself from God and feel all alone. In addition, you will be hurting and putting in turmoil the life of the one YOU vowed to love, honor, and cherish until death do you part as well as turning the lives of any children you have upside down. That is the reality of your decision.
I am fully aware that one of the most difficult things in life is for two people to truly become one as a husband and wife are supposed to be. People do change over time. That is why taking the time necessary to build a strong spiritual foundation BEFORE you are married is so critical, since that is the bond that will carry you and sustain you through the years, through the good times as well as the difficult times. =That is why men need to stay close to the Lord each day through the Word, through prayer, through fellowshipping with other men of God. Life will always throw temptations in your way as a test, women being the 1 temptation there is.
Let me take a minute to tell you why falling for a woman other than you wife is such a foolish choice. First, you have NO CLUE what her true motives are. Sadly, there are many women who prey on married men for a variety of reasons, because they really love you and care about you is NOT one of those reasons. Money is the chief reason. Others include a father for their children, they are lonely, and in some cases they are simply evil and love to see if they can ruin someone else?s marriage. What do you have to gain? A little false boost to your ego? A few minutes of sexual pleasure? For that you are willing to destroy your life, the life of the woman you are having the affair with (she NEVER wins), and the woman you vowed to God to spend the rest of your life with as well as your children. Like I share so often, the price of sin is greater than you ever wanted or expected to pay.
The key is for you and your wife to keep that spiritual foundation strong. You do that each day the same way you stay close to the Lord individually. You pray with your wife. You read the Word together. You openly and honestly communicate with each other. SHE IS THE ONE GOD HAS GIVEN YOU TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH! She is the ONLY one you can have sex with and think of in a sexual way. She is the one God has entrusted you to care for and support. She is the one that the Bible says you are to love like Christ loves the church. She is the one you are to give your very life for if need be!
I love and care about you so much. It hurts me daily to receive the emails from wives whose husbands have left them, especially using the idiotic excuse of ?going through a midlife crisis.? It is NOT a midlife crisis, it is simply sin. For those women out there who are currently dealing with a husband who has left you, you are not responsible for his choices. God gave us each free will and only He can change your husband?s heart. Now is the time to make your faith real and learn to trust God during this difficult time. Find your peace, and hope, and strength in Him each day. I will be praying for your husband to turn his heart and life completely back to the Lord and to you and your marriage. God is still a God of restoration!
For the men reading this today, please, don?t fall for this lie of satan that your life will be better by leaving your wife and family. THE DEVIL IS A LIAR! Your life will not be better, it will be worse. It will not be blessed, it will be cursed! God is not going to bless sin my friend. The reality is, the same time and energy, and emotions, and feelings you will have to put into another woman, will reap blessings if you put them into your wife! That is why leaving your wife is so foolish. A new relationship is always fresh and exciting, but after some time passes, you realize that there are just as many problems, just as many issues as you had before. Marriage takes work! That is why you see people getting married 3, 4, 5, 6 times and more. When the honeymoon is over, they aren?t willing to put forth the effort a marriage requires.
I will be praying today for those men who have bought into this lie to repent, ask God?s forgiveness, go to your wife and ask her forgiveness, and get your life back together. For you women, don?t give up on your marriage. I am praying for His strength in your life today. I am praying specifically today for marriages that need God?s healing touch. I refuse to simply allow these marriages we hear from day after day become statistics satan can gloat over. I am believing God for these marriages to be restored as a trophy of His grace for His glory! A ?midlife crisis? is a myth. It is simply an excuse for sin. Any coward can run, it takes a man of God to stand and honor his marriage vows!