Daily Devotional for Monday October 22, 2001

Man/Woman Relationships

(Genesis 2:18-24)

With today being my 18th wedding anniversary, I felt led to deal with one of the greatest prayer requests I get daily on our Liveprayer.com website and in my personal email. Libraries full of books have been written on the subject of man/woman relationships. It is the source of some of our greatest joy in this lifetime, as well as our deepest pain. There are NEVER easy answers, due to the complicated nature of each one of us individually, in trying to blend two unique people into one relationship. Rather than try to deal with this very sensitive subject from a broad perspective, let me try to narrow the focus and deal with many key issues based on our final authority for all matters of life, God's Word. Let me say right up front, every situation is different, and every situation has it's own unique circumstances. All I am going to do is to try to open up a little bit of what the scriptures have to say, so don't get mad at me if you don't like what God has to say..:) Also, I can tell you from years of counseling that most people are in difficult situations because they have ignored God's Word. Making a decision to follow God's plan is going to be the first step for many of you to get out of some very difficult relationship situations.

In the Book of Genesis, Chapter 2, we see the man/woman relationship introduced. You will notice this was God's idea. God had very clearly-defined roles for the man and for the woman. God's plan was for one man, one woman, one lifetime. This is serious. I am very much against young adults under 18 involved in dating. There are raw, new emotions that can lead young people into life-destructive situations. Young people dating is like letting a 12-year-old drive on a crowded freeway. They can probably do it for a while, but a crash is inevitable. The choice of a mate for life is very serious, and there is no such thing as "casual dating" because your feelings aren't casual. There needs to be much prayer, much pastoral counseling, and clear signs from God on both sides that this is what God wants for both the man and woman.

Once you are married, there are a whole set of new hurdles: People changing and not being the "same person I married." Infidelity, which for the record is not only sin, but a totally selfish act that never has a happy ending. Conflict over raising children, money, where to live, activities, etc., etc. Divorce, which by the way the Bible declares "God hates." This is why, just like you must work daily at your relationship with God...which, if you noticed from past devotionals, includes actually spending time with God daily....you MUST work daily on your relationship with your spouse. It doesn't happen by osmosis. The two keys have to be spending time together and communication. A relationship where either of these elements is missing is doomed. You cannot make two unique people into one without spending time together and communicating. I am not even going to discuss a man and woman living together out of the covenant of marriage. That is pure unadulterated sin, and there is no condition when it is acceptable. Again, don't get mad at me, God wrote it, not me.

I pray daily for so many requests that deal with this issue. Young people caught up in romances at an age when they have no business being intimate or emotionally involved. Married couples going through separation or divorce over a myriad of issues. People who are single, fighting through difficult issues, usually from disobeying God's plan. I want you to understand, because this is such a common issue, that you can do it your way, or you can do it God's way. God's way works; your way doesn't. And you can't try to combine the two either. There is an incredible amount of peace, joy, and intense gratification from a proper, Godly relationship between a man and woman. There is an incredible amount of pain, heartache, and intense grief that can affect you for the rest of your life from an improper ungodly relationship.

I will be praying for you to let God speak to you today. You know where you are at in regard to this issue. God can heal wounds, help you to overcome if you are serious about doing it His way. I am believing today for the marriages of those in trouble. God is a God of restoration. Don't give up. I love each one of you and care about you. Be encouraged today. God has a plan. He didn't leave it up to us to figure these things out. Follow His plan, and I promise you that you will experience the best this life has to offer, because that is all God ever wanted for His children.